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Confusion like a cloud of dust

Hovered in her hair

And sunlight caught each

Particle

Flying

Vomiting direction in a

Dizzying dance of

Pulling close and

Throwing to the ground.

 

 

Tangled and beaten

She ran her fingers through

Caught the knots

And skin tore off

Connected to sticky strands

Locked together

With grasping for thoughts

Not abiding by

Surrender.

 

 

She shaved her head

To stop the itch

Lice-filled reflections

Connecting teeth

And gripping her scalp

Until the day

She cut them out and

Watched them fall and

Heard them scream for help.

 

 

The sunshine and the rain

The moon and eclipse

All

Gathered ‘round her skull

The atmosphere

Was heavy

With invisible

Orbs of wetness and

Inevitability.

 

 

Exposed

She lay her head

In blades of grass

Body bent on a bed of mud

That drenched the surface

Where her crown

Once rested

Now a twisted mess

Blowing away.

 

 

She traded certainty

For chaos

Laid down security

For disarray

To the guard sitting

At the door

Of her heart

His badge rusted with

Decay.

 

 

Alone and balding

Like a victim of

Cancer

Whose anchors

Fire and acid

Threw themselves

Into her eyes

She stared blankly

At the sky.

 

 

“I cut him out,

the one who was

knotted in each strand

cascading down like braids

twisted and

wrapping around

and I thought

release would

set me free.”

 

 

Two minds—

Double you might say—

Projected their

Visions

Onto a screen

In celestial sphere

One depicted

Get up and walk

The other, succumb.

 

 

Freedom breathed

Into each choice

Clarity clothed in voice

Autonomy restored

To its former

Determination

She chose the hardest part—

Letting go and

Joy.

 

copyright Jill Szoo Wilson

(Photo credit: German artist Gabriele Ahrens‘ piece, Crosslinked.  http://www.gabriele-ahrens.de/index.php)

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